Why Nice Guys Shouldn’t Finish Last

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex

I have to admit that at one point in my life I snubbed the “nice guy”. I was young, immature, and not sure what I really wanted. I actually said to my girlfriends “I don’t know, he’s just too nice”. What did that mean exactly? If I try to analyze it maybe I believed that the guy who acted tough, arrogant, and selfish would in the long run be a better mate. Or maybe I thought that all the attention I received from the nice guy was a sign of weakness or desperation, and I certainly didn’t want to be with someone weak or desperate. So I continued to date self-centered men, and lost every time. This was the guy that showed some interest but really kept you guessing most of the time. It was the guy who waited a week to call you (if he called at all). The guy who made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. I hate that guy.

I have a good friend who is very aware he is a “nice guy”. When he is interested in a woman, he goes out of his way to show his interest. I remember trying to give him some advice a few times saying “don’t be so anxious, keep her guessing, women need a little challenge”. He always agreed with me but could never pull it off, that’s just not who he was. Why would he pretend to be aloof when all he wanted to do was spend time with these women and show them who he really was? We used to debate about “playing the game”. I used to say “yes, play” (ironically I was getting played and hated it). And he used to argue that he didn’t want games. He wanted the real thing and where the heck was she already? Ah, the nice guy.

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