Who do you treat better: your boss or your spouse?
Posted by Katie Gutierrez Painter Categories: Editorials, Marriage, Relationships
Okay, that’s kind of an unfair question. After all (in most cases… hehe) the relationship is as different as could be. Perhaps I should rephrase: To whom do you show more courtesy and consideration: your boss or your spouse?
The question is one I’ve vaguely had in mind for a few days, ever since I decided to multitask by using my lunch hour get my cardio in via taking the dog for a jog. I also took along my Bluetooth headset just in case any clients called. Instead, it was my husband who called, and I tried valiantly to have a decent conversation while keeping my pace through the home stretch. Eventually, he griped, “I can’t hear a thing you’re saying with all that wind. Just call me later.” Before hanging up, he added, sort of incredulously, “You wouldn’t actually talk to a client like this, would you?”
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Easy Ideas for Cheap Dating
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
In these times of economic crisis, people everywhere are looking for ways to cutback. This week, Netflix reported their highest sales growth in years. Could it be that those ridiculously high movie tickets are just too much of an expense these days? Last week Husband and I spent $30 on a trip to the theatre. Now while it’s not something we ultimately want to cut from our budget, signing up for a DVD rental program is a great way for us to save some cash. It’s also a really great way to spend an evening. Making a good dinner, putting comfy PJ’s on, and curling up on the couch to a good flick can be romantic and relaxing after a hectic work week. It’s also an excellent way to finally watch those movies you’ve wanted to see but never got around to. We’re renting some classics now like Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Lawrence of Arabia (which will take up your entire evening).
There are tons of ways to create “cheap dates” besides succumbing to the all you can eat buffet or the Mickey D’s drive through. For example, going to lunch instead of dinner is a great, cheap way to try a new restaurant. Or, how about taking advantage of the local scenery? We headed to the big Shedd Aquarium here in Chicago last weekend and it was fun and inexpensive. Museums, zoo’s, etc. in general are usually priced pretty low. Plus, it’s a great way to spend time with each other, get out of the house, and experience cool things right in your own backyard. A friend of mine just told me she and her husband toured the Anheuser Busch brewery in Jacksonville, FL for the first time even though they’ve lived there for at least 8 years. It’s amazing how we sometimes overlook our local attractions.
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“Tell Me You Love Me” Should He Always Say It First?
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’ve been in a handful of relationships prior to getting married. Most of them were meaningful and some of them were pretty intense. I have been in love more then once and yeah, I’ve said those three little words a few times. It is so funny to me how we (us girls) are so anxious about wanting to hear our man give in to his emotions and tell us he loves us. Sometimes we stare at them and repeat to ourselves “say it, say it, come on say it” (well, maybe us crazy ones). We really want to hear it because for one, it confirms that this guy is really serious about us and two, that he’s not going anywhere (at least for a little while).
Some of us go through many stages of anxiety in a relationship. The first stage, after a serious relationship is established, is the “when is he going to say ‘I love you’?” stage (by the way, the next stage is “when is he going to propose”). When you have completely fallen in love, all you want to do is say it. You want to tell him you love him everyday. But you won’t. And why? Because you want him to say it first, and in my opinion, he should. You really never, ever want to be in a situation where you profess your love to someone and then it not be returned. That’s harsh. But I said he should, not he must.
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For Better or For Worse: Life After the Wedding
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
Some people have been asking me why I’m blogging so much about dating and ex-boyfriends now that I’m a married woman. Well, if you look at my life in segments, my dating life far exceeds my married life. I figure my first date happened at the age of 15 and I was married at 30. 15 years of dating versus just over one year of being married. I can no way claim to have knowledge about how to make a marriage work. But I can discuss what I’ve experienced so far, and steps I’ve taken to make my marriage successful.
So the wedding is over. It’s funny how the question that everyone asked went from “how’s the wedding planning?” to “how’s married life treating you?” or “so when are you having a baby?”. I find the one about married life the most interesting. I hear it the most from married people and am now starting to feel like maybe it’s a trick question. If I look closely, I can see them looking at me with a raised eyebrow and maybe thinking to themselves “ha ha sucker, so how is married life really”? It seemed innocent at first and I always answered “Great!” But I realized that they knew something that I didn’t, and were waiting for me to discover that being married is no walk in the park.
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How to Deal with the Relationship Red Flags
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, How To, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
Sometimes women put up with quite a bit from a guy to make a relationship work out. We ignore some obvious signs that this guy might not be the one, all for the hopes that everything will work itself out. Sometimes these red flags are waiving right in our faces and we push them aside. For what? To not be single, or alone? Sometimes, it’s just not worth it.
Half a decade ago I was in a really bad situation with one of those “bad boys”. You know, that guy who is so bad for us, but for some reason we must have. The guy that we think we can change (which never happens by the way). After the first three weeks of dating this guy, he completely blew up at me, I mean he had a MAD temper and it came out early (lucky for me right?). So of course I ended it. Hello? Major red flag! I didn’t want to be with a guy who yelled for no reason, right? The he apologized. And for some reason I gave him a second chance. I don’t think most women would, but I did. I liked the idea of him (having a boyfriend) and of course, thought I could change him.
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He Crushed You and Now He Wants You Back
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Celebrities, Entertainment, Relationships
Did anyone watch The Bachelor last night? I’m a huge fan and was so excited to see Jason get his chance to make out with 15 girls at once. The best part of the show was when they showed the highlights for the season, and low and behold Deanna Pappas returns!!! I KNEW IT! For those of you who didn’t watch last season, Deanna almost let Jason propose and then yanked him up and told him she was in love with Jesse (who she recently dumped). Honestly, I was shocked she would actually come back to the show and tell Jason she made a mistake. The producers must be thrilled. I cannot WAIT to see what happens.
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Getting Over the Worst Break-Up
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
I’ve heard some really horrible break-up stories in my day. One of the worst was when my friend got dumped after her boyfriend went away for a vacation. During the period of one week he had met a new girl, brought her home, and moved her in. Oh the heart ache she must have felt. It truly was a horrible way for him to end things. But I remember this particular break-up story because I remember how well she handled it. She was strong, mature, and had no urge to destroy him or his new girl. How did she do it? Maybe she cried every time she was alone or maybe (hopefully) she consumed high levels of alcohol so that she could drown her sorrows away. I knew this girl well and the bottom line was she just got over him, moved on, and never looked back.
I am the polar opposite. My worst break-up ever was with someone I dated for about 8 months. I was 28 he was 30 and we were in love. Things moved pretty quickly and I knew, just knew, he was the one. He was about to be a lawyer, an Italian like me, and we were basically compatible.
So how did he break up with me? The last normal conversation I had with him was amazing. We had agreed to move in together and finally start our lives. Oh my god this was it!! We would live together, get married, have babies, have more babies, renew our vows… and…. um…. yeah, all that other crap. God help me.
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How Online Dating Saved My Life
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
For me, dating was never easy. Although I considered myself mostly extraverted, I was never bold enough to actually approach a random guy. When I was in my early twenties I lived in a small college town. My only real option for meeting new men was out at a bar or through work. I worked at the local college surrounded by women and guys too young to buy beer. And bars? First of all, I’ve never been a big drinker. And most importantly, I could never really take a guy seriously when he’s mostly drunk and probably snuck into the bar using a fake ID.
During my mid-twenties I made a huge move and relocated to New York City. I thought for sure that living in the big city, my dating life would be ignited. Man was I wrong. Now, I do consider myself an attractive woman, but come to find out the ratio of attractive women to men in NYC is quite ridiculous, one hundred to one I think. So I lived there for a year, sucked it up and went to bars, and went on a total of three dates. Three dates. One was with some accountant who was generally nice, but not my type. The other two dates were with a hair dresser who worked on the set of Sex and the City named Sasha (yes, his name was Sasha). Let’s just say that even the idea of possibly meeting Sarah Jessica Parker wasn’t enough to make me stand this guy for another second.
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Are You Really Alone for the Holidays?
Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
It’s that time of year again and this year, Hubby and I are solo in a new city. This is the first year that either of us have not spent the holidays with our families. We finally made the tough decision to try and save some money and have a “romantic” Christmas together.
Only a few years ago, I considered myself alone for the holidays. Actually, many years in a row it always seemed that whatever relationship I was in ended right before the season. “Oh great, alone for Christmas again,” I would say. The worst thing of course was going to see the family and having to hear that dreaded question: “So, dating anyone?” UGH. I wanted to punch that person regardless of whether we had the same last name or not. The first few years that question made me so uncomfortable that I would lie and say, “yes.” Maybe I would make someone up or maybe I would extend my previous relationship and just pretend we never broke up. Either way it made me feel slightly better. If you are in that phase of your life, hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie. Just make sure you are prepared to answer any follow-up questions.
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Etiquette For Texting In The Dating Arena
Posted by Marla Martenson Categories: Advice, Relationships
As a matchmaker, I frequently get feedback from frustrated clients telling me that their date canceled on them by sending them a text message, or even “broke up with them” through text. What has happened to our society that we are all hiding behind e-mails and text messages? We seem to be afraid or too busy to pick up the phone and add a personal touch - a human touch. Sometimes, people say they sent a text to cancel a date, but the person on the receiving end never got it, so they were sitting there at the restaurant waiting. How frustrating and humiliating.
When I think back to the “olden” days—the 70s—before cell phones, answering machines, e-mail, et cetera, how did people manage to get together? They took the time to connect, to court, to make sure that the other person got the message. How did we get so busy? We have all of the modern conveniences, more than we ever could have imagined, yet, we have no time to even pick up the phone to let someone know we can’t make it or will be late. I suggest that we all take a deep breath and get back to what is important - people, connections, and caring about other people’s feelings.
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