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Tuesday December 30, 2008 1:32 am

How Online Dating Saved My Life

Posted by Vicky Lane Categories: Advice, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Sex

So, I left NYC having made great friends and great memories, but no great dates. None, at least, that had potential to be anything with substance. So, when I moved back to Florida I again made an effort to “get out there” and meet new people. And I did. I was 25 dealing with the bar scene and had a few boyfriends. Fast forward to 27 and I was OVER the bar scene. I just couldn’t do it anymore. So instead of sitting home waiting for Mr. Right to come knocking on my door, I did the most unimaginable thing and signed up for match.com.

Oh I was so ashamed, so embarrassed. I never told anyone for the first few months. How pathetic that this is how I needed to meet guys. Then after my first few exchanges through email with a few different men, I became addicted. It was like window shopping for dates!! I loved it! I had a date every week. Some of them were one time only, some lasted a few weeks. One (the last before I met my now husband) turned very serious and lasted quite awhile.

I would say, overall, my experience with online dating was very successful. Truth be told if I hadn’t signed up, I would have sat home, depressed, wondering where “he” was. I can honestly say that online dating really did save my life. Sure, it got me out of the house, but most importantly I was meeting so many different types of men that by the time the right one came along, I knew exactly what I wanted. Oddly enough I didn’t meet my husband online, but I was still searching online right before he did come along. It was a great option for me and I always tell my single girlfriends to get out there and try it. The worst that can happen is you don’t like the guy, big deal.

Here are some tips for a happy online dating expereince:

Email Frequently
Try to correspond through email for at least a week to two weeks before the first phone call. I found that men felt very comfortable being themselves without the pressure of looking or sounding the part.  You can also really learn a lot from the way a guy writes.

Search the No Photos 
This was really where I found the good ones.  Some guys are embarrassed about putting their picture on a dating website.  I would search the profiles with no photos and wound up meeting some very attractive men.  After the first email, you can ask them to send a photo.

Short Dates 
It is better to meet for the first time for coffee or a drink. Even lunch is OK because it can be quick.  Dinner dates are tricky because god forbid his picture is deceiving or he turns out to be a dud. Now you have to eat dinner with this guy.

Be Optimistic 
If your first experience dating online isn’t a good one, never give up.  I went out with some “interesting” guys to say the least, but I also met some great ones.  I learned a lot about myself and overall gained confidence in my ability to know whether a guy was worthy of a second and third date. 



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